Brooke

This little man is growing and changing so fast. He is a complete joy to my soul. He is happy. He lights up when he sees me or Bill....or Blanca, Katey, Brooke, mom or Rob. He points at you, then leans in for you to pick him up. He will study my face...pointing to my lips, my eyes. Then, with a great big, open mouth, he leans in for a kiss. Ohhhhhhhhh! I love it so much.
He isn't a "walker" yet, but has taken 4-5 steps. He is just in too much of a hurry to try. He is fine with crawling at insanely fast speeds. He is into everything. Opening cabinets, pulling out the newspaper, looking at sockets, and wanting his paws all over anything in Gracie and Camille's rooms. About them. They are the worlds best big sisters.

They get in the pack and play and play with him. They talk to him, watch him, take harmful objects out of his way, prevent him from going up stairs, etc. He completely lives for them. I mean, he really loves Bill and me, but we don't hold a candle to his sisters. OH GOD, I AM SO THANKFUL.

If the girls go upstairs to play the Wii, he just cries and cries for me to take him too- he likes to go to the playroom, and sit in a little bear chair of the girls and hop around in it! He also likes their little pink chairs! Man, we really need to get him some of his own stuff!

Brookie just is peaceful and fun. Curious and loving. His smile lights up a room. His mimicks make us laugh, the way he snuggles down with his "lovie", sucks his thumb and goes straight to sleep makes me cry. A true little angel. Thank you God, for sending him to this family.....we are very thankful. We have been blessed.

My head hurts

There are times that life seems so unreal, so stinkin NOT REAL, that your head hurts. My step brother, who I was certainly estranged from, died today. He was 39. Heart attack. There was so much crap, so much I tried to forget about. So much that still hurts. So much that remains on my "every day" recording I play in my brain.

But he died today. How should I feel? No matter how I should feel, I fell to my knees, and cried. I shook. What now?

There is a tugging at my heart....I believe God telling me that it is time to ACTUALLY, TRUELY forgive and maybe even ask for forgiveness. To his sister. I don't know, I am comfortable in my bitterness. But that is what Jesus wants to conquer, right?

Help me Jesus. Help his sister and momma. His friends. My head truely hurts.

Our New Table

Finally, we have a new "everyday" table where we can all sit comfortably. This quest has been going on for some time, and it finally arrived TODAY!
Tonight the girls each invited a friend to come and spend the night. This is our first spend the night "party" with the girls from this class. We have had a NON STOP evening. Movies, games, dance time, joke time, a little whinning (mostly from mine) and A LOT OF JUNK FOOD! I took a picture of these sweet new friends and Gracie and Camille gathered around our new table right before we ate. Just think- it is the tables 1st picture. What else will that table support? How many new faces? How many serious conversations? Homework. Arts and crafts. Spilled milk. I know that every memory will not be a silly as tonights. With giggling, goofy girls. But I will cherish this one with all of my heart.....
......it is a pleasure to pray over my girls every night. Tonight I got to add 2 new little faces to that prayer. Thank you God, for direct access to you. Thank you that you hear me. Please Father, surround this home, this family, these friends, with your angels.
Sitting in this room, the new table right behind me, in the QUIET, I miss the giggles. What a preciously hard time this is. Grace W couldn't fall asleep so I just finished scratching her back....I am thankful she wanted to stay, instead of calling mom and dad. How I pray our home will always be that for these girls. A safe place, full of life and love. That I will be a mom that is strict when she needs to be, but will roll up my sleeves, dig in the dirt and laugh when I can. That they all want to be here....and that they will all sit around this table for MANY years to come.
Brooke took 5 steps today. on his own. Just moved. He was so proud! Oh Father, I pray you will guide his every step.